Survivor Palau: week 8

Now that’s more like it. This week’s Survivor had twists, turns, great interviews, product placement and a few surprises. But most of all, it had a Gross Food Challenge.

The biggest disappointment on Survivor Vanuatu was the absence of this classic event, which usually goes to air just as we’re eating dinner. Balut is a delicacy in Palau. If, like me, you’d never heard of it before you’re probably wishing, like me, that you could go back to that happy era of ignorance. Balut is a fertilised duck egg, about 20 days old, at which stage the beak, claws and feathers are fully formed. You just peel away the shell, and chow down! Four Survivors (including Ian, who loves baby animals) ate thirty of these between them, with a tie-breaker race to eat five. Bobby Jon showed yet again that he’s a few analogies short of a metaphor by shoving them all in him mouth at once. Tom took it slow and steady and won, so we were treated to ninety seconds of Bobby Jon’s mouth hanging open in shock that he lost, with semi-chewed feathers and beaks falling out randomly.

It was gross food back at Koror’s camp, too. An apparent lack of taxidermists in Palau means the ants, flies and rats are having a feast on Tom’s trophy shark head and the food scraps left around camp, much to Coby’s disgust. "The rats have become bolder and bolder and it’s all our tribe’s fault because nobody will listen to me." The gay contestants always give the best interviews, and Coby – as predicted in the form guide, thank you very much – is no exception, especially now that James is no longer hogging the spotlight with his redneck rambling.

The one bit of cleaning everyone actually wanted to do was take a shower. Tom’s efforts with the Balut (and I promise it’s the last time I’ll mention that word) won Koror a 55 gallon tank of fresh water with a shower attachment, and a gift basket of toiletries that blatantly promoted a new orange-flavoured mouth wash among other treasures. Tom declared the fresh water was only to be used for drinking. The girls stood there, loofas in hand, big puppy eyes pleading with him to let them freshen up, but he stood firm. They eventually backed down, and I suspect it’s because they know it’ll be easier to create a big target on his back if there’s a nice thick layer of dirt there to draw in.

Hygiene standards weren’t much better at Ulong. Stephanie is exfoliating as best she can with sand and salt water, but Bobby Jon is apparently getting a bit on the nose. In the night’s second biggest gross-out we also saw him getting a bit out of his nose by covering one nostril and blowing as hard as he could, a procedure eloquently described by Stephanie as a "snot rocket".

The immunity challenge included all the essential ingredients: swimming, releasing things tied under the water, marine-grade ply wood, a word puzzle and a ceremony where the immunity idol is handed to Koror. Yet again Ulong went out strong, but (in your best Maxwell Smart voice) missed it by that much. They never had a chance, really. Koror has eight people to help gather food, water and firewood (although if you believe Coby only one person is actually doing that), and six who can do all the paddling to the challenge site while those who will compete save their strength. The two remaining members of Ulong have to do everything for themselves, and in a shock announcement we discovered that soon it’ll be one person doing it alone because at Tribal Council they’d be competing against each other for individual immunity, with the loser automatically out of the game. Bobby Jon announced, "There’s no Ulong any more, it’s Team Bobby Jon now". Just remember: there’s no "I" in Team Bobby Jon, but there’s a "boob" if you look close enough.

After a demonstration at camp of Bobby Jon’s fire making skills, and an admission during Tribal Council that making fire is not Stephanie’s strong point, Jeff announced that immunity would go to the person who managed to light their torch first by – you guessed it – building a big fire. The cocky look on Bobby Jon’s face soon turned to the same stunned one we saw earlier (minus the bird bits falling out of his mouth) as Stephanie won. In a final humiliation, Bobby Jon had to light his torch especially so that Jeff could snuff it out again.

Now it gets really interesting, although probably less so for Graeme since he’s out of the sweep. Stephanie won’t miss the snot rockets, but she might miss the help around camp and even the basic level of companionship Bobby Jon offered. The ad gives no indication of how long she’ll be alone for, but we do get a tantalising preview of a big hissy fit from Coby in the first hints of a Koror implosion. With entertainment like that, who needs a gross food challenge!