Friday, February 16, 2007
Survivor Fiji: update!
So I finally cracked and rang Channel Nine to ask whether they will be showing Survivor Fiji, and was told "yeah, around late March"!
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Survivor Fiji: Pre-season Form Guide
Once again, Survivor will be starting in America LOOOONG before it starts in Australia. Thanks for that, Eddie. Humphry B. Bear's publicist managed to magically get his contract extended with a well placed leak to The Age, so maybe I should try and do the same to get Survivor back on Channel Nine before it's too late to avoid internet leaks.
In the meantime, however, here's this season's Form Guide full of snap judgements about people I've never met, based on some dodgy stereotypes about their jobs, ages, and favourite things. Remember, they provided the info; I’m just interpreting it.
Alex: 28 - Attorney
Made it to Harvard on a scholarship, only to discover he doesn’t like law after all. Will over think and under perform.
Anthony: 32 - Expert Witness Locater
Made it to Yale on a scholarship but won’t admit it. Solid people skills so will do well. My early pick for this season’s winner.
Boo: 34 - Construction Worker
Real name is Kenward. Thinks he: a) has sex appeal; b) is Huckleberry Finn; and c) is a ‘cerebral athlete’. Wrong on all counts.
Cassandra: 42 - Civil Engineer Manager
In God she trusts, which is smarter than trusting Boo. This season’s Cirie, and could do just as well.
Dre: 25 - Cheerleading Coach
Finishes every second sentence with ‘You know what I’m sayin’?" Will get voted out early for being intolerably perky.
Earl: 35 - Advertising Executive
Is treating a few weeks without his laptop and mobile as a ‘right of passage’. Is way too serious to be as witty as he thinks he is.
Edgardo: 28 - Advertising Executive
Thinks the other guys will feel threatened by the effect his sex appeal will have on the women. Wrong on both counts.
Erica: 27 - Non-profit Fundraiser
Certainly has the hair for Fiji. Describes herself as both subtle and confrontational; huh? Will go early for making a crucial error.
Gary: 55 - School Bus Driver
A school bud driver who hasn't been institutionalised shouldn’t have any trouble keeping those youngsters in check. Definite jury potential.
James: 28 - Bartender
Has a ‘Boston’ tattoo like Shane, and is just as creepy. Quote: "I’m not putting a lot of thought into this." Um, yeah.
Jessica: 27 - Fashion Stylist
Is flighty and girly and obsessed with her own looks. Will beg to be voted out after her first contact with an insect, ie. day 2
Liliana: 25 - Loan Officer
Ex Marine Corp with five siblings, so won’t have any trouble on the social aspect. Will stay under the radar and could do well.
Lisi: 36 - Customer Service Rep
Is a CSR for a ‘psychic service company’ and once had a ‘hit’ in France with her ‘underground electro punk noise’.
Melissa: 28 - Talent Manager
Quit the night before filming started after suffering multiple panic attacks. Not all that surprising given her No. 1 fear is "being unable to get out".
Michelle: 23 - Student
Talks just like Bindi Irwin, which would be cuter if she were also 8 years old. Enjoys ‘things that are green’ and ‘pirates’. I'm not making this up.
Mookie: 25 - Loan Manager
Wants to get away from materialistic things like television, but extends credit to others to buy that stuff. Kooky.
Rita: 38 - Single Mom
Former Miss Venezuela entrant who now coaches for kiddy beauty pageants and believes there’s no such thing as ‘too sexy’. Eww!
Stacey: 27 - Interactive Internet Producer
Is most annoyed by people who are lazy and complain a lot. Wow, is this the wrong place for you to be!
Sylvia: 52 - Architect
Looks very smart on paper, backed up by learning to swim BEFORE arriving in Fiji. Early exit for being ‘too old’.
Yau-Man: 54 - Computer Engineer
Such a geek (self confessed – repeatedly) that he describes himself not as ‘old’ but ‘on the outer fringe of the bell curve’.
In the meantime, however, here's this season's Form Guide full of snap judgements about people I've never met, based on some dodgy stereotypes about their jobs, ages, and favourite things. Remember, they provided the info; I’m just interpreting it.
Alex: 28 - Attorney
Made it to Harvard on a scholarship, only to discover he doesn’t like law after all. Will over think and under perform.
Anthony: 32 - Expert Witness Locater
Made it to Yale on a scholarship but won’t admit it. Solid people skills so will do well. My early pick for this season’s winner.
Boo: 34 - Construction Worker
Real name is Kenward. Thinks he: a) has sex appeal; b) is Huckleberry Finn; and c) is a ‘cerebral athlete’. Wrong on all counts.
Cassandra: 42 - Civil Engineer Manager
In God she trusts, which is smarter than trusting Boo. This season’s Cirie, and could do just as well.
Dre: 25 - Cheerleading Coach
Finishes every second sentence with ‘You know what I’m sayin’?" Will get voted out early for being intolerably perky.
Earl: 35 - Advertising Executive
Is treating a few weeks without his laptop and mobile as a ‘right of passage’. Is way too serious to be as witty as he thinks he is.
Edgardo: 28 - Advertising Executive
Thinks the other guys will feel threatened by the effect his sex appeal will have on the women. Wrong on both counts.
Erica: 27 - Non-profit Fundraiser
Certainly has the hair for Fiji. Describes herself as both subtle and confrontational; huh? Will go early for making a crucial error.
Gary: 55 - School Bus Driver
A school bud driver who hasn't been institutionalised shouldn’t have any trouble keeping those youngsters in check. Definite jury potential.
James: 28 - Bartender
Has a ‘Boston’ tattoo like Shane, and is just as creepy. Quote: "I’m not putting a lot of thought into this." Um, yeah.
Jessica: 27 - Fashion Stylist
Is flighty and girly and obsessed with her own looks. Will beg to be voted out after her first contact with an insect, ie. day 2
Liliana: 25 - Loan Officer
Ex Marine Corp with five siblings, so won’t have any trouble on the social aspect. Will stay under the radar and could do well.
Lisi: 36 - Customer Service Rep
Is a CSR for a ‘psychic service company’ and once had a ‘hit’ in France with her ‘underground electro punk noise’.
Melissa: 28 - Talent Manager
Quit the night before filming started after suffering multiple panic attacks. Not all that surprising given her No. 1 fear is "being unable to get out".
Michelle: 23 - Student
Talks just like Bindi Irwin, which would be cuter if she were also 8 years old. Enjoys ‘things that are green’ and ‘pirates’. I'm not making this up.
Mookie: 25 - Loan Manager
Wants to get away from materialistic things like television, but extends credit to others to buy that stuff. Kooky.
Rita: 38 - Single Mom
Former Miss Venezuela entrant who now coaches for kiddy beauty pageants and believes there’s no such thing as ‘too sexy’. Eww!
Stacey: 27 - Interactive Internet Producer
Is most annoyed by people who are lazy and complain a lot. Wow, is this the wrong place for you to be!
Sylvia: 52 - Architect
Looks very smart on paper, backed up by learning to swim BEFORE arriving in Fiji. Early exit for being ‘too old’.
Yau-Man: 54 - Computer Engineer
Such a geek (self confessed – repeatedly) that he describes himself not as ‘old’ but ‘on the outer fringe of the bell curve’.
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