You know it's going to be a great series of Survivor when it's only the second episode but already people are complaining about their tribemates' work ethics and the pixellating machine in the editing suite has been cracked out (pardon the pun).
The producers love weaving in shots of scary-looking local animals to make it appear that the Survivors are in imminent peril, and the opening scene this week was a fat, hairy tarantula going about his business. As if that wasn't revolting enough to watch while eating dinner, Bobby Jon and Blake still can't keep any food down. Blake in particular seems to need all of nurse Margaret's attention or he'll keel over and die, but only at camp while there's work to be done. During the challenges he comes out strong and is a big star hero, much to the annoyance of all the other guys in the tribe who want to be heroes, too.
Gary is still desperately trying to hide his NFL background from everyone in his tribe while ensuring that the rest of the world is in no doubt that he is a 'somebody'. He keeps claiming that he'll get voted off if his tribemates find out, but hasn't explained why they'd do that. Danni the sports radio host from Nakúm recognised him straight away and told Brian, who later asked Gary about it in front of everyone else. Gary's ego won't be able to keep up the pressure of suppressing his super nova, so eventually he'll get voted off for lying, regardless of who he is. Ahh, karma!
Continuing the spider theme from earlier, the Reward Challenge was a large rope web set up over a pond in a spot that was probably virgin rainforest until the pre-production crew arrived. Survivors took turns to retrieve bags tied to the web, drop back into the pond, then climb a short rope ladder out of the water and run back to the starting point. Of course the big buffed boys all wanted to go first, but it didn't occur to any of them to pick off the bags that were furthest away and hardest to reach instead of leaving the easiest ones to the weaker team members who went later. Hopefully next time they'll remember to allow for Rafe, because the amount of time he wasted falling into the water without a bag and then not being able to climb the ladder out again was longer than the amount of time by which Yaxhá eventually lost.
Nakúm used their prize of a fishing kit to go catch themselves some protein. Even more impressively, Lydia managed to catch a fish for each person in Yaxhá by building a clever little shoreline fish trap with some rocks. Well, it was impressive until a fly crawled onto the platter holding all that fish and we saw that they were only slightly bigger than the fly. Still, the only other option was live ants, and the girls are nowhere near ready for the gross food challenge just yet.
The immunity challenge was an old fashioned tug-o-war, with each Survivor tied to the rope by the waist. Given the terrified dread of sexuality with which CBS has wielded its pixellating machine ever since the Janet Jackson Super Bowl "Nipplegate" incident I simply fail to understand why the tug-o-war had to be set in a mud wrestling pit.
When the first round failed to produce a winner the game switched to one-on-one challenges. To win you either had to reach the flag at your end or just be closest to it when the time ran out. That crucial 'closest to your own end' bit of detail must have skipped Gary right by: I'm sure he thought he was pulling some smooth NFL move by suddenly running toward Judd and pinning him into the mud with only seconds to go. The team didn't risk allowing Gary do any more thinking in the last two rounds, using Jamie twice instead, but the damage was done and Yaxhá was off to their first Tribal Council.
Jamie, who really isn't the smartest person to ever play Survivor, wanted to vote off Stephanie but was instantly howled down. Lydia seemed an obvious choice, but as Brian pointed out she works really hard around camp and hasn't lost them a challenge (and if losing a challenge for the team is a criteria, Rafe and Gary should both be gone by now). Morgan hadn't lost a challenge, but she hadn't done any work around camp either, which even at this early stage was a stupid mistake to make.
In reality the Lydia v Morgan dilemma had nothing to do with those two individuals, and everything to do with the others sizing up who they could trust to stick to a promised voting pattern. Again, it was interesting to see that happening so soon in the series. Brian wanted Morgan to go, and very cleverly arranged that by telling Lydia to start lobbying for herself. He is really going to be this season's Machiavelli, and should provide plenty of entertainment.
Morgan's comment to camera as she voted for Lydia was, "I’m sure this is one of the hardest decisions I'll make while I'm out here." It was also her last decision, because she's gone in an 8-1 vote that she didn't see coming at all. Hopefully for her the decision on how she'll fill in the next twelve weeks won't be as difficult to make.
Saturday, September 24, 2005
Saturday, September 17, 2005
Survivor Guatemala: Week 1
And they're racing in the 2005 Survivor Guatemala Sweeps!
In fine Survivor tradition we were treated to host Jeff Probst's 100 word book report on the geography of Guatemala and the history of the ancient Maya people, followed by one of those grand statements he does so seriously and so well: "39 days, 18 people, one Survivor."
Hang on, 18 people? There's only 16 listed on the website so who are the other two? Well, the ad promised two big surprises, and they were Stephanie and Bobby Jon from Survivor Palau. Stephanie joined Yaxhá (pronounced "ya-Shar") and Bobby Jon is a member of Nakúm (pronounced "na-Koom"). Jeff initially described them as tools, and then pointed out that they are full members of their tribes and can be voted off if they're seen as too much of a threat. Gee, thanks Jeff.
There's usually a bit of a hike to get to the campsites, but this year's was one of the worst yet. First the teams had to decide how much food and water to carry with them on an 11 mile hike straight through the jungle, then they had to actually survive the jungle. Both teams were forced to camp overnight among the snakes and the spiders, and we got some lovely night-vision goggle footage of monkeys up in the treetops. The animal roaring accompanying these pictures was impressive, until you realised it was actually the sound of Blake throwing up from dehydration and shock at having been cracked over the shoulder by a spikey tree earlier that day.
Nakúm's prize for winning the race was the best campsite out of the two available, but they quickly ruined their new home by vomiting all over it. Judd, Jim and the interchangeable Bobby Jon and Blake were all severely dehydrated and cramping from the strenuous hike in the humidity. Interestingly all the girls in the tribe survived the hike in fine form, which was lucky because nurse Margaret needed them to help with triage. Bobby Jon's eyes kept rolling back in his head, and I'm assuming it wasn't all that serious or the production crew would have stepped in. I laughed pretty hard regardless, because Bobby Jon hasn't lightened up at all in the last six months and is just as intense and embarrassingly sincere as ever.
The first immunity challenge continued the episode's theme of relatively straightforward tasks claiming numerous casualties. Teams had to paddle their canoes out round a buoy (and yes, Jeff pronounced it "boo-eee" in what will hopefully be the first of many such instances) and then drag the boat up a hill using the same rolling log technique the Maya used to move the huge stone blocks for their pyramids. Danni, Stephanie and Cindy all managed to get limbs caught under logs, and retired fire-fighter Jim somehow broke his left bicep by lifting before everyone else did.
Stephanie led Yaxhá through the danger to her first ever Immunity Reward win, and sent Nakúm off to our first look at this year's Tribal Council set. Apparently (and I found this on the Internet so it must be true) blood letting and human sacrifice was an important part of the Mayan religious system. The high priest would pierce his foreskin and drip blood onto strips of paper that were burned later in the rite. Fortunately for Survivor high priest Jeff the producers have stuck with felt tip pens for marking strips of paper at tribal council, and this week Jim was sacrificed in a 7-1 vote. Oddly he voted for Margaret, without whom the rest of the tribe would have been in real trouble. Maybe he suspected her of putting something more than just lemon juice in his drinking water. Seriously though, if they keep voting off the weakest ones and she keeps discreetly poisoning people she's a shoo-in to win!
So what are this year's Survivors like? Rafe looks more and more like Woody Allen every time he opens his mouth. Brian's complaining that the rest of the team isn't committed enough sounds distinctly Coby-like, and Cindy the animal trainer is a regular little Steve Irwin in drag. Gary is telling people he's just a landscaper because he reckons they'll get rid of him if early if they know he's actually a retired NFL Quarterback (I suspect he's a just miffed at being in a tribe full of people who were still in primary school during his glory days and don't even recognise him). Brandon is keeping up a fine tradition of the token redneck giving very amusing interviews (such as describing Judd's leap overboard as a "premature evacuation") although we laugh with Brandon whereas we were laughing around James from Palau. Judd the doorman is a character straight out of the extras casting pool for Law and Order, and Danni the former beauty queen was grateful for Bobby Jon's presence in her tribe from a purely aesthetic sense. Stephanie provides the compulsory young-gorgeous-female-pharmaceutical-company-sales-rep role, and the stereotypes are complete!
Next week's ad promises more footage of Blake throwing up and Bobby Jon taking the challenges too seriously. Isn't it lucky that more of the same is such a good thing.
In fine Survivor tradition we were treated to host Jeff Probst's 100 word book report on the geography of Guatemala and the history of the ancient Maya people, followed by one of those grand statements he does so seriously and so well: "39 days, 18 people, one Survivor."
Hang on, 18 people? There's only 16 listed on the website so who are the other two? Well, the ad promised two big surprises, and they were Stephanie and Bobby Jon from Survivor Palau. Stephanie joined Yaxhá (pronounced "ya-Shar") and Bobby Jon is a member of Nakúm (pronounced "na-Koom"). Jeff initially described them as tools, and then pointed out that they are full members of their tribes and can be voted off if they're seen as too much of a threat. Gee, thanks Jeff.
There's usually a bit of a hike to get to the campsites, but this year's was one of the worst yet. First the teams had to decide how much food and water to carry with them on an 11 mile hike straight through the jungle, then they had to actually survive the jungle. Both teams were forced to camp overnight among the snakes and the spiders, and we got some lovely night-vision goggle footage of monkeys up in the treetops. The animal roaring accompanying these pictures was impressive, until you realised it was actually the sound of Blake throwing up from dehydration and shock at having been cracked over the shoulder by a spikey tree earlier that day.
Nakúm's prize for winning the race was the best campsite out of the two available, but they quickly ruined their new home by vomiting all over it. Judd, Jim and the interchangeable Bobby Jon and Blake were all severely dehydrated and cramping from the strenuous hike in the humidity. Interestingly all the girls in the tribe survived the hike in fine form, which was lucky because nurse Margaret needed them to help with triage. Bobby Jon's eyes kept rolling back in his head, and I'm assuming it wasn't all that serious or the production crew would have stepped in. I laughed pretty hard regardless, because Bobby Jon hasn't lightened up at all in the last six months and is just as intense and embarrassingly sincere as ever.
The first immunity challenge continued the episode's theme of relatively straightforward tasks claiming numerous casualties. Teams had to paddle their canoes out round a buoy (and yes, Jeff pronounced it "boo-eee" in what will hopefully be the first of many such instances) and then drag the boat up a hill using the same rolling log technique the Maya used to move the huge stone blocks for their pyramids. Danni, Stephanie and Cindy all managed to get limbs caught under logs, and retired fire-fighter Jim somehow broke his left bicep by lifting before everyone else did.
Stephanie led Yaxhá through the danger to her first ever Immunity Reward win, and sent Nakúm off to our first look at this year's Tribal Council set. Apparently (and I found this on the Internet so it must be true) blood letting and human sacrifice was an important part of the Mayan religious system. The high priest would pierce his foreskin and drip blood onto strips of paper that were burned later in the rite. Fortunately for Survivor high priest Jeff the producers have stuck with felt tip pens for marking strips of paper at tribal council, and this week Jim was sacrificed in a 7-1 vote. Oddly he voted for Margaret, without whom the rest of the tribe would have been in real trouble. Maybe he suspected her of putting something more than just lemon juice in his drinking water. Seriously though, if they keep voting off the weakest ones and she keeps discreetly poisoning people she's a shoo-in to win!
So what are this year's Survivors like? Rafe looks more and more like Woody Allen every time he opens his mouth. Brian's complaining that the rest of the team isn't committed enough sounds distinctly Coby-like, and Cindy the animal trainer is a regular little Steve Irwin in drag. Gary is telling people he's just a landscaper because he reckons they'll get rid of him if early if they know he's actually a retired NFL Quarterback (I suspect he's a just miffed at being in a tribe full of people who were still in primary school during his glory days and don't even recognise him). Brandon is keeping up a fine tradition of the token redneck giving very amusing interviews (such as describing Judd's leap overboard as a "premature evacuation") although we laugh with Brandon whereas we were laughing around James from Palau. Judd the doorman is a character straight out of the extras casting pool for Law and Order, and Danni the former beauty queen was grateful for Bobby Jon's presence in her tribe from a purely aesthetic sense. Stephanie provides the compulsory young-gorgeous-female-pharmaceutical-company-sales-rep role, and the stereotypes are complete!
Next week's ad promises more footage of Blake throwing up and Bobby Jon taking the challenges too seriously. Isn't it lucky that more of the same is such a good thing.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
