Here are some snap judgements about people I've never met, based on some dodgy stereotypes about their jobs, ages, and favourite things.
To see the faces, and read the full bio, visit: http://www.cbs.com/primetime/survivor11/. You'll need to scroll down to read all the favourites, and click on the Bio link to see the results of their own navel gazing.
Remember, they provided the info; I’m just interpreting it.
Amy, 39 - Police Sargeant
Cops often don't do well, but she's the first ever female cop. Should have the maturity to keep on-side with both the men and women. Definite jury potential, and my early pick as the winner.
Blake, 24 - Real Estate Broker/Model
Our only slash model this year. Favourite smell is gasoline (?!?). Will go early for not understanding the politics of the game and being too nice to people.
Brandon, 22 – Farmer/Rancher
What precisely is the difference between a rancher and a farmer? Token redneck whose horizons will be forcibly – and amusingly - widened by the experience.
Brian, 22 - Ivy League Student
Favourite colour is "deep teal" and co-wrote his school play, so is possibly this year’s token homosexual. Studied psychology, but no evidence that he's ever put it to use in real life.
Brianna, 21 – Retail Sales/ Make-up Artist
The Survivor most likely to do a bikini photo shoot for a lads magazine like FHM, but only after getting voted off early for her appalling work ethic around camp and annoying mannerisms.
Brooke, 26 - Law Student
On paper looks smart and fit, so a definite contender. Should do well on the challenges and has top three potential unless the others feel threatened by her once the individual challenges start.
Cindy, 31 – Zookeeper
Has an identical twin sister named Mindy (!!). May turn out to be the camp loudmouth who gets voted out around the mid-point of the game so the others can get some peace and quiet.
Danni, 30 - Sports Radio Talk Show Host
The girls will feel threatened, and the boys will be aroused but terrified. An early exit despite her impressive physical strength in the challenges for being just too much for anyone.
Gary, 46 - Ex-NFL Quarterback/Real Estate Developer
Will annoy everyone by rabbiting on about his glory days in the NFL and be voted off early. This is a preview of what Gregg from Palau will be like 20 years from now.
Jamie, 24 - Water Ski Instructor
Has an identical twin brother named Ramie (!!). That hair cut is already pretty bad, and will only get worse after a few weeks in the jungle. Survivor most likely to be asked by his tribe to bathe.
Jim, 63 - Retired Fire Captain
A fireman won the last series, but good for a top-three long shot if he’s kept his fitness up and doesn’t hold the team back. Favourite colour is Marine Corp Green, so could be a bit too gung-ho for some.
Judd, 34 - Hotel Doorman
Has an identical twin brother named - wait for it - Timmy. Depending how long he's been a door bitch he could be a very sharp judge of character, and will probably give some good interviews.
Lydia, 42 – Fishmonger
Puerto Rico is officially a US territory, and hardly an ethic minority, but she's the closest we've got to a token foreigner this season. Likely to struggle in the early challenges and be seen as a liability. First to get voted out of her tribe.
Margaret, 43 - Family Nurse Practitioner
Will be kept to the end for her work ethic. Might make the final three, but won’t be taken to the final two if she gets there. Of course, that's exactly what I said about Palau's Wanda and I was very wrong then.
Morgan, 21 - Magician’s Assistant/Waitress
The dark horse who plays the dumb blonde but is actually controlling things behind the scenes. Will go far, and probably make the final five assuming she doesn't cause her team to lose challenges.
Rafe, 22 - Ivy League Student
Mormon Mommy's boy. Lived in Sydney for a while and barracks for the Swans, so he's a Yank who's actually heard of the rest of the world. Should therefore do well on the Guatemala Quiz challenge.
My friend Nicole pointed out that it's weird having three Survivors with identical twins. Could the producers be planning some sort of Big Brother switcheroo scam? You read it here first...
Sunday, August 21, 2005
Friday, August 12, 2005
Survivor Guatemala update
GLORIOUS NEWS!
Some time in the last 12 hours, CBS updated its website to announce that Survivor Guatemala premieres in the US on Thursday 15th September, along with photos of the Survivors and brief bios on each one.
http://www.cbs.com/primetime/survivor11/
No info yet from Channel Eddie about when it will show here in Oz, but Tuesday 20 September would be a good bet based on past years. That might be why we're getting the final season of Frasier in a double dose every week; to get through them all before Survivor starts. Just a theory.
Next week I'll have a Form Guide up on the site making some gross generalisations about the contestants based on little more info than their job and favourite colour. You don't think you can judge a Survivor by its favourite colour? What would you say about a man who seriously puts "deep teal" on his application form? How about "marine corps green"?
I'm so excited I could be the fourth Pointer Sister.
Some time in the last 12 hours, CBS updated its website to announce that Survivor Guatemala premieres in the US on Thursday 15th September, along with photos of the Survivors and brief bios on each one.
http://www.cbs.com/primetime/survivor11/
No info yet from Channel Eddie about when it will show here in Oz, but Tuesday 20 September would be a good bet based on past years. That might be why we're getting the final season of Frasier in a double dose every week; to get through them all before Survivor starts. Just a theory.
Next week I'll have a Form Guide up on the site making some gross generalisations about the contestants based on little more info than their job and favourite colour. You don't think you can judge a Survivor by its favourite colour? What would you say about a man who seriously puts "deep teal" on his application form? How about "marine corps green"?
I'm so excited I could be the fourth Pointer Sister.
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Amazing Race: the post-finale conspiracies
I'm having withdrawal pangs from decent Reality TV (and by that I specifically and unapologetically exclude Big Brother and Australian Idol, although I reserve the right to post about Idol if one of the contestants really bugs me).
Anyway, there was much talk at work last Friday morning about whether or not the Amazing Race producers bribed American Airlines (and remember, AA is who most of the stage winner prizes are from so they’re a major sponsor of TAR) to let Uchenna and Joyce on the same plane as Rob and Amber to make the last 20 minutes interesting. I had to know more, so I googled the topic and found a strange, scary underworld of fanatical people with waaaay too much time on their hands.
http://community.realitytvworld.com/boards/DCForumID54/1059.shtml is a particularly amusing little universe. This link should take you to the start of a topic about whether AA breached federal aviation safety rules by letting people on the plane after the door had been closed. NINETY posts!! on this topic later I found two gems that I reproduce here, hopefully without breaching copyright laws since I’m crediting the source. By all means read through all of the posts that were logged, but these were the only ones that really amused me.
The first is an interview Rob and Amber did with America’s version of TV Week. The second is an opinion from an actual AA pilot on what the rules are on letting people on a plane after the doors close, which stopped the topic dead and therefore seems to be the final word on the matter as far as TAR community is concerned. Either that or they all simulataneously found a life.
Rob and Amber Interview:
TVGuide.com: Coming to the finish line, how far behind Uchenna and Joyce were you?
Rob Mariano: We were about 30 minutes behind them, but we pretty much knew it was over when we got to the cigar shop. We were disappointed that they held that plane from Puerto Rico to Miami to let Uchenna and Joyce on. If they hadn't, we would have had the race in the bag. We were pulling away from the gate and then all of a sudden the plane backed up and the jetway was pulled out. American Airlines owes us a million bucks.
TVG: Sounds like you may have some conspiracy theories about the way this played out.
Rob: We'll leave that up to the viewers to decide. It was a bit sketchy to me. I don't know the last time you saw anyone re-open a plane door for somebody. And it wouldn't have been too dramatic if only one team was running to the finish line.
TVG: Was it difficult to relive the experience again last Tuesday night?
Amber Brkich: Yeah, watching the finale was a little rough. We had kind of forgotten about it and then, all of a sudden, all those emotions come back up again. It was tough because we were ahead pretty much the whole race and we were feeling really, really good when we got on the plane.
Rob: They didn't show it, but I was yelling and screaming at the producers on the plane. And the thing that got me is, watching the show, you didn't even really see Uchenna and Joyce lobbying that hard to open the doors. They just seemed to magically talk to the pilot somehow. In my experience, I've never been able to do that. Regardless, it's in the past and our hats are off to Uchenna and Joyce. They fought a good race, they ended up winning and we give that to them. If anybody else was going to win it besides us, we're glad it was them.
TVG: Rob, this is the second time in a row you've finished second after dominating the competition. That's got to be frustrating.
Rob: Yeah, it's tough. And Rupert ran away with that "America's Tribal Council" thing. So I've had three shots to win a million bucks — well, four shots Marquesas — and I came out second place three times. But we had a great time doing the race regardless. We got some awesome experiences out of it and we got to visit some great places and have a good time.
TVG: And you got some good prizes out of the deal, too.
Rob: It's not even close, bro. I'd trade all the prizes in a heartbeat for the first place win. I don't even want the million, I just want to come in first in something!
TVG: How does The Amazing Race compare to Survivor? Easier or harder?
Rob: It's a tough question. They're completely different shows, and I can't say which is harder. Survivor is more physically demanding on your body, but the race is definitely more stressful in the fact that you're always on the move. On Survivor, if your alliances are good, you can attain a certain comfort level where you can relax a little bit. Here, there's no relaxing. They're both a lot tougher than they look. I was blown away by the sleep depravation on the race. For the first three days, I didn't sleep at all and I was thinking, "This is like Survivor all over again!"
TVG: Did you go on the show with the intention of messing with the rules?
Rob: That's always my strategy with every game I'm playing. And not once during the race did Amber and I ever break the rules — we always played within them. But let me tell you something: Make sure your rules are well-defined, because we'll find a way around them if we have to. Some people have the philosophy that if the front door is closed, they'll sit and wait until it opens. Our philosophy is, if the front door's closed, let's go around to the back or to the roof or underneath. And I think that helped us a lot on the race.
TVG: It didn't win you many friends, though.
Amber: We've been doing this for a while now, and you learn that not everyone out there is going to love you. Your friends and family are there first and foremost. Those are the people who will love you before and after, and that's really what matters. And you know, after your first reality show, you go, "Oh, that was nice, we made a couple friends." But when you get a second chance like we did on All-Stars, you think, "OK, how many times do you get a second chance at winning a million bucks?" So this is our third shot and we're not going out there to make friends. We already have friends; we already have family.
Rob: A lot of the racers definitely had preconceived notions about us and I can see where they're coming from, to a degree. We're previous winners and you don't want the winners to win again, OK. But I think they took it to the extreme. More than half the teams out there were more concerned with whether they were beating us rather than where they were in the race. If they had paid more attention to their own game instead of what we were doing, I think they would have done a lot better. Of the teams, only Ron and Kelly really took the time to get to know us on a personal level. They would talk to us in the airports. What you don't see is that a lot of the other teams wouldn't come near us. I don't know if they were intimidated or what. But they did not make an effort, and when we made an effort to try and talk to them, they thought we were scheming.
TVG: Do you think your celebrity gave you an unfair advantage?
Rob: I don't think it gave us an unfair advantage. It definitely gave us an advantage to a degree, especially in Peru and Africa where people actually noticed us for being on Survivor. However, a lot of times, all we did was get locals to help us out. It's a simple concept and it's been done in the past. I got the idea from watching old episodes of the Race. Why the other teams never did it, I will never know. They saw us doing it, so they should have just followed our lead. But it's easy to cry about things afterwards when you don't do so well and look for excuses. I think it's obvious with a lot of the teams' post-interviews. You can see it.
Amber: I think every team has an advantage, you just have to figure out what it is. For example, Meredith and Gretchen's advantage was that they're an older couple and people kind of wanted to take care of them and help them out. So as long as you figure out what your niche is, you can use it to your advantage.
TVG: Do you think that you've left an impact on the game?
Rob: Oh, without a doubt. I wouldn't say that we impacted it in a negative way; I'd say in a positive way. We played the game differently than it's ever been played before. We've probably changed the game forever. I think people will think twice and realize that it's a competitive game for $1 million. That's a lot of money; it will change somebody's life.
TVG: You were definitely working like a well-oiled machine. How did you manage to keep the stress from impacting your relationship?
Amber: It's distracting when you waste time arguing. You'll stand there for five minutes arguing and other teams will pass you. Rob and I went into this game knowing our relationship wasn't worth $1 million, so we weren't going to throw away our relationship over that. A lot of people do go on the show and it hurts their relationships, which is unfortunate. But it's a great place to learn how to compromise. I think if you do that, you come out a better person.
TVG: There was one point where you seemed close to arguing, though, at that Fast Forward in South Africa.
Amber: Well, I wasn't talking to Rob at that particular point. So when he was telling me to make a decision I was like, "Too bad, I'm not talking to you." We had been lost for two hours and I was still mad about that. So that was one of our biggest frustration points. That was also the leg where we came in fifth place.
Rob: That was my fault also, because in retrospect, it wasn't 100 percent her decision. We were both indecisive — neither of us knew what to do. Here's the thing: We're a normal couple, just like everyone else. We do fight and we do argue. Especially when you're in that kind of situation, the stress gets to everybody. So, of course, sometimes we snap at each other, but we're smart enough to realize that we need to stop it then and there. Like everything in life, it's about compromise.
TVG: So what's next for you both? More TV?
Rob: Well, we've got the wedding show on May 24 and, after that, we've got a pretty full schedule. I'm going to play in the World Series of Poker this summer again and give that another go. And stay tuned, because we've got other things in the works. We're negotiating right now. As soon as we can tell you, we'll let you know.
What a pilot says
"Well, it's not a pilot directly - just a very good friend of mine who has been a pilot for AA for the past 30 years. Currently he's flying a Chicago/London run. He doesn't watch the show, but I when I called him and described to him generally what happened and he gave me some insight.
It boils down to the gate agent and the pilot. With AA (and probably other carriers) the gate agent actually gets incentive pay and bonuses based upon planes getting off on time or ahead of time. So, increasingly they are closing the gate 10 minutes before push back. My friend used to begin his pre-flight sequence check list 5 minutes before push back, but has had to increase it to 10 minutes because the gate agents are closing sooner these days and to delay his checklist would keep the plane on the ground longer than necessary. He added that if the gate agents are late closing they get "hammered" by the airlines.
He says that as captain he rarely gets a call these days to allow a passenger on after the jetway pushes back. However, that's more because he's on international flights. He experienced it a lot when he was flying domestic.
He also observed that the San Juan to Miami route is a VERY heavy route for AA. Miami is a hub so gate agents are always working hard to keep flights on time or early so people can make their scheduled changes in Miami. Whether a gate agent would call a pilot in an instance like this probably depends in part on the relationship they have. If it's tight the agent wouldn't hesitate at all to call the pilot IF the gate had closed early.
From there on it's totally captains discretion. If he decides to take them then he has to change his flight log and reinsert a new out time for the flight. So, it's also his issue if the flight is going to run late and he wants to avoid that.
He also added that this type of situation is a tough call for a pilot. He's sitting there and can see into the terminal and he'd have to have a heart of stone if the flight is running early to not let someone on the plane who has obviously just run up to the gate and is trying to get on the flight. My friend said he was especially lenient with families with kids when he flew domestic.
In the end he said he couldn't really determine if there was undue influence in part because he wasn't familiar with the show, but he laughed at the idea that a show producer could have that particular kind of clout on a specific flight. Still, he said without knowing the specific details he couldn't say absolutely that what happened was normal, but that it didn't seem at all unusual to him."
Anyway, there was much talk at work last Friday morning about whether or not the Amazing Race producers bribed American Airlines (and remember, AA is who most of the stage winner prizes are from so they’re a major sponsor of TAR) to let Uchenna and Joyce on the same plane as Rob and Amber to make the last 20 minutes interesting. I had to know more, so I googled the topic and found a strange, scary underworld of fanatical people with waaaay too much time on their hands.
http://community.realitytvworld.com/boards/DCForumID54/1059.shtml is a particularly amusing little universe. This link should take you to the start of a topic about whether AA breached federal aviation safety rules by letting people on the plane after the door had been closed. NINETY posts!! on this topic later I found two gems that I reproduce here, hopefully without breaching copyright laws since I’m crediting the source. By all means read through all of the posts that were logged, but these were the only ones that really amused me.
The first is an interview Rob and Amber did with America’s version of TV Week. The second is an opinion from an actual AA pilot on what the rules are on letting people on a plane after the doors close, which stopped the topic dead and therefore seems to be the final word on the matter as far as TAR community is concerned. Either that or they all simulataneously found a life.
Rob and Amber Interview:
TVGuide.com: Coming to the finish line, how far behind Uchenna and Joyce were you?
Rob Mariano: We were about 30 minutes behind them, but we pretty much knew it was over when we got to the cigar shop. We were disappointed that they held that plane from Puerto Rico to Miami to let Uchenna and Joyce on. If they hadn't, we would have had the race in the bag. We were pulling away from the gate and then all of a sudden the plane backed up and the jetway was pulled out. American Airlines owes us a million bucks.
TVG: Sounds like you may have some conspiracy theories about the way this played out.
Rob: We'll leave that up to the viewers to decide. It was a bit sketchy to me. I don't know the last time you saw anyone re-open a plane door for somebody. And it wouldn't have been too dramatic if only one team was running to the finish line.
TVG: Was it difficult to relive the experience again last Tuesday night?
Amber Brkich: Yeah, watching the finale was a little rough. We had kind of forgotten about it and then, all of a sudden, all those emotions come back up again. It was tough because we were ahead pretty much the whole race and we were feeling really, really good when we got on the plane.
Rob: They didn't show it, but I was yelling and screaming at the producers on the plane. And the thing that got me is, watching the show, you didn't even really see Uchenna and Joyce lobbying that hard to open the doors. They just seemed to magically talk to the pilot somehow. In my experience, I've never been able to do that. Regardless, it's in the past and our hats are off to Uchenna and Joyce. They fought a good race, they ended up winning and we give that to them. If anybody else was going to win it besides us, we're glad it was them.
TVG: Rob, this is the second time in a row you've finished second after dominating the competition. That's got to be frustrating.
Rob: Yeah, it's tough. And Rupert ran away with that "America's Tribal Council" thing. So I've had three shots to win a million bucks — well, four shots Marquesas — and I came out second place three times. But we had a great time doing the race regardless. We got some awesome experiences out of it and we got to visit some great places and have a good time.
TVG: And you got some good prizes out of the deal, too.
Rob: It's not even close, bro. I'd trade all the prizes in a heartbeat for the first place win. I don't even want the million, I just want to come in first in something!
TVG: How does The Amazing Race compare to Survivor? Easier or harder?
Rob: It's a tough question. They're completely different shows, and I can't say which is harder. Survivor is more physically demanding on your body, but the race is definitely more stressful in the fact that you're always on the move. On Survivor, if your alliances are good, you can attain a certain comfort level where you can relax a little bit. Here, there's no relaxing. They're both a lot tougher than they look. I was blown away by the sleep depravation on the race. For the first three days, I didn't sleep at all and I was thinking, "This is like Survivor all over again!"
TVG: Did you go on the show with the intention of messing with the rules?
Rob: That's always my strategy with every game I'm playing. And not once during the race did Amber and I ever break the rules — we always played within them. But let me tell you something: Make sure your rules are well-defined, because we'll find a way around them if we have to. Some people have the philosophy that if the front door is closed, they'll sit and wait until it opens. Our philosophy is, if the front door's closed, let's go around to the back or to the roof or underneath. And I think that helped us a lot on the race.
TVG: It didn't win you many friends, though.
Amber: We've been doing this for a while now, and you learn that not everyone out there is going to love you. Your friends and family are there first and foremost. Those are the people who will love you before and after, and that's really what matters. And you know, after your first reality show, you go, "Oh, that was nice, we made a couple friends." But when you get a second chance like we did on All-Stars, you think, "OK, how many times do you get a second chance at winning a million bucks?" So this is our third shot and we're not going out there to make friends. We already have friends; we already have family.
Rob: A lot of the racers definitely had preconceived notions about us and I can see where they're coming from, to a degree. We're previous winners and you don't want the winners to win again, OK. But I think they took it to the extreme. More than half the teams out there were more concerned with whether they were beating us rather than where they were in the race. If they had paid more attention to their own game instead of what we were doing, I think they would have done a lot better. Of the teams, only Ron and Kelly really took the time to get to know us on a personal level. They would talk to us in the airports. What you don't see is that a lot of the other teams wouldn't come near us. I don't know if they were intimidated or what. But they did not make an effort, and when we made an effort to try and talk to them, they thought we were scheming.
TVG: Do you think your celebrity gave you an unfair advantage?
Rob: I don't think it gave us an unfair advantage. It definitely gave us an advantage to a degree, especially in Peru and Africa where people actually noticed us for being on Survivor. However, a lot of times, all we did was get locals to help us out. It's a simple concept and it's been done in the past. I got the idea from watching old episodes of the Race. Why the other teams never did it, I will never know. They saw us doing it, so they should have just followed our lead. But it's easy to cry about things afterwards when you don't do so well and look for excuses. I think it's obvious with a lot of the teams' post-interviews. You can see it.
Amber: I think every team has an advantage, you just have to figure out what it is. For example, Meredith and Gretchen's advantage was that they're an older couple and people kind of wanted to take care of them and help them out. So as long as you figure out what your niche is, you can use it to your advantage.
TVG: Do you think that you've left an impact on the game?
Rob: Oh, without a doubt. I wouldn't say that we impacted it in a negative way; I'd say in a positive way. We played the game differently than it's ever been played before. We've probably changed the game forever. I think people will think twice and realize that it's a competitive game for $1 million. That's a lot of money; it will change somebody's life.
TVG: You were definitely working like a well-oiled machine. How did you manage to keep the stress from impacting your relationship?
Amber: It's distracting when you waste time arguing. You'll stand there for five minutes arguing and other teams will pass you. Rob and I went into this game knowing our relationship wasn't worth $1 million, so we weren't going to throw away our relationship over that. A lot of people do go on the show and it hurts their relationships, which is unfortunate. But it's a great place to learn how to compromise. I think if you do that, you come out a better person.
TVG: There was one point where you seemed close to arguing, though, at that Fast Forward in South Africa.
Amber: Well, I wasn't talking to Rob at that particular point. So when he was telling me to make a decision I was like, "Too bad, I'm not talking to you." We had been lost for two hours and I was still mad about that. So that was one of our biggest frustration points. That was also the leg where we came in fifth place.
Rob: That was my fault also, because in retrospect, it wasn't 100 percent her decision. We were both indecisive — neither of us knew what to do. Here's the thing: We're a normal couple, just like everyone else. We do fight and we do argue. Especially when you're in that kind of situation, the stress gets to everybody. So, of course, sometimes we snap at each other, but we're smart enough to realize that we need to stop it then and there. Like everything in life, it's about compromise.
TVG: So what's next for you both? More TV?
Rob: Well, we've got the wedding show on May 24 and, after that, we've got a pretty full schedule. I'm going to play in the World Series of Poker this summer again and give that another go. And stay tuned, because we've got other things in the works. We're negotiating right now. As soon as we can tell you, we'll let you know.
What a pilot says
"Well, it's not a pilot directly - just a very good friend of mine who has been a pilot for AA for the past 30 years. Currently he's flying a Chicago/London run. He doesn't watch the show, but I when I called him and described to him generally what happened and he gave me some insight.
It boils down to the gate agent and the pilot. With AA (and probably other carriers) the gate agent actually gets incentive pay and bonuses based upon planes getting off on time or ahead of time. So, increasingly they are closing the gate 10 minutes before push back. My friend used to begin his pre-flight sequence check list 5 minutes before push back, but has had to increase it to 10 minutes because the gate agents are closing sooner these days and to delay his checklist would keep the plane on the ground longer than necessary. He added that if the gate agents are late closing they get "hammered" by the airlines.
He says that as captain he rarely gets a call these days to allow a passenger on after the jetway pushes back. However, that's more because he's on international flights. He experienced it a lot when he was flying domestic.
He also observed that the San Juan to Miami route is a VERY heavy route for AA. Miami is a hub so gate agents are always working hard to keep flights on time or early so people can make their scheduled changes in Miami. Whether a gate agent would call a pilot in an instance like this probably depends in part on the relationship they have. If it's tight the agent wouldn't hesitate at all to call the pilot IF the gate had closed early.
From there on it's totally captains discretion. If he decides to take them then he has to change his flight log and reinsert a new out time for the flight. So, it's also his issue if the flight is going to run late and he wants to avoid that.
He also added that this type of situation is a tough call for a pilot. He's sitting there and can see into the terminal and he'd have to have a heart of stone if the flight is running early to not let someone on the plane who has obviously just run up to the gate and is trying to get on the flight. My friend said he was especially lenient with families with kids when he flew domestic.
In the end he said he couldn't really determine if there was undue influence in part because he wasn't familiar with the show, but he laughed at the idea that a show producer could have that particular kind of clout on a specific flight. Still, he said without knowing the specific details he couldn't say absolutely that what happened was normal, but that it didn't seem at all unusual to him."
Thursday, August 04, 2005
Amazing Race: finale!
The title on my last entry was "Second last episode" and I'm sticking by that claim. Sure, there was an hour of Amazing Race on the TV last week at the normal time, but since there were only three teams left it must have been rhe first half of the last episode. I'm sticking by that theory, and it's got absolutely nothing to do with any kind of mistake on my part about how many episodes were left. Honest. Really truly. Does anyone believe me?
OK maybe not, but it's absurd to have three teams left and pretend that one of them will be knocked out before the finish line. Lucky for Uchenna and Joyce it was a "non-elimination round". To get there the teams had to travel from London to Jamaica, all ending up on the same flight and with no advantage. Ron and Kelly used the time productively to have yet another fight about their 'relationship'. Kelly can't seem to understand that Ron is happy to be her boyfriend but just doesn't want to get married. I took the effort to rewind and copy her quote down verbatim, because I love a good double entendre: "I've been able to really show Ron what I'm made of. If he doesn't figure out the quality girl I am then he's missing out." Yeah, if he doesn't figure out that she's – hang on while I look up her exact words from week 7 – "a piece-of-trash redneck" he'll be missing out on a life of peace and tranquillity. At least he's had the grace not to ask to be sent back to Iraq to avoid her, tempting as it must have been at times. Oh that's right, he got discharged from the army, which proves his inability to commit.
Once in Jamaica the teams had to do the limbo to get a time when they could search a school for the next clue, then had to build a raft and use it to cross a river. Rob & Amber and Uchenna & Joyce were neck and neck at this point because as couples they were working with each other instead of standing around complaining like Ron and Kelly. Somehow she thinks she's still a nice girl if she calls him a "smart A" instead of what everybody over four years of age knows she meant. I hate hypocrisy like that.
The teams also learnt the classic Survivor lesson of just how much can go wrong during an 80km taxi ride: traffic jams, stopping to get petrol, being pulled over by random police patrols, drivers who speak English but need to be subtitled to be understood and – most devastating of all – flat tyres. It didn't help Uchenna and Joyce at all that the other teams could see their taxi's tyre deflating and were praying for it to explode. Not very nice, people.
It was enough to push Uchenna & Joyce into last place on at the pit stop, and be stripped of all their cash and possessions, but not quite enough to put them out of the race on the next leg. A remote resort in a poor country at 3am is not the best time to be begging. At least they were smart enough to aim for the airport first, where lots of wealthy travellers were just queued up to ignore them and refuse help. Is it just me, or do the white couples never have that much trouble begging? Had Uchenna & Joyce been less decent humans they'd have whipped off her scarf and claimed her baldness as proof of cancer.
By that stage the other two teams had collected a bag of 50 onions from one place in the middle of nowhere and chopped every one of them to smithereens at another place in the middle of nowhere. From there it was off to the Rose Hall Great House for the detour. The choices were to make a horse swim around a marker (unlike Survivor they denied me the pleasure of hearing them pronounce buoy as boo-ee) or golf. Mind you, the golf was just hitting a 16m wide green 140m off, but the tricky part was they all had to dress up first at the pro shop. Joyce and Uchenna managed to make up a lot of time because if you believe the editing he hit the green on his third shot. At least he hadn't dug a small canyon with his club head in front of the tee like Ron did.
The next leg was a flight from Jamaica to Puerto Rico. Rob and Amber were minutes short of making the 9.30 flight, but somehow managed to squeeze onto the 8.30 flight on another airline which was running late. Ron and Kelly had to wait for the next flight leaving three hours later, with Uchenna and Joyce another four hours behind that. Wow, this is going to be a boring final; the producers must be really disappointed at how easy it's been for Rob and Amber.
But wait! Jerry Bruckheimer's team managed to find a completely abandoned sugar cane mill that has regular daily opening hours! What were the chances of that! Isn't it funny how all these place use exactly the same sign writing company and the same font to dispaly their opening hours! And better still for Jerry, what were the odds that it wouldn't open until the next morning, by which time Joyce and Uchenna had caught up to the others and they were all even again? It's a miracle!
The real miracle was what happened next. Rob and Amber didn't read the instructions properly and fell well behind the other two teams! One person had to jump off a bridge about 30m down into the water. Who knows what happened, but they couldn't find their way to the start point, and both Uchenna and Ron were on their way back to shore by the time they did. With Rob already having performed six roadblocks it was up to Amber, and being the trooper she is she was in the water with barely a moment's hesitation. Mind you, Rob had to piggy back her to the car because she couldn't walk, but she wasn't complaining at all and Rob went up that little extra notch in my book as top shelf husband material. Can you imagine Jonathan and Victoria in a situation like that?
From Puerto Rico the teams had to travel to Miami. Rob and Amber managed to talk their way onto a flight that was just about to go, and Rob actually stopped to check with the flight staff that the doors were locked behind them and nobody could follow them onto the plane. Maybe someone at the gate thought that Joyce really does have cancer, because they phoned the pilot AND HE AGREED TO LET THEM ON! The look on Rob's face as the aerobridge slid back toward the plane was fantastic, but at least Amber managed a gracious congratulations for them.
Ron and Kelly missed the flight because they were too busy arguing with each other to follow directions to the airport. Kelly said 'left' when she meant 'right', but rather than getting over it and moving on they had to keep debating the point about whose fault it was while driving further and further in the wrong direction. Missing that flight is what put them out of contention, and there was much cheering here in Kingsville that our two favourite teams would be battling it out for the final.
The next clue box might have been back in the USA, but being Miami the local lingo is very much Spanish. The clue was to find a cigar shop called "The King of the Havanas" but the trick was that the shop is actually known by the transalation El Rey de los Habanos. Joyce and Uchenna's taxi driver asked a local for directions in Spanish, and they were sent straight there. Rob and Amber did the asking themselves in English, and sure enough nobody had ever heard of it.
In probably the most exciting finish for all the series I've been lucky enough to see, Uchenna and Joyce didn't have enough money for the taxi fare to the finish line in Fort Lauderdale. They tried begging from drivers of cars next to them at traffic lights along the way, but again no luck. I'm still not sure why the driver acted all surprised when they got told him at the end of the trip (and practically within view of the finish line) that they couldn’t pay him enough! They'd been telling him the whole way and begging in front of him. As easy as it would have been, they just couldn't bring themselves to run off without paying but were still $45 short. They managed to beg it in increments from a series of locals, one of whom asked "Can you please tell me what I'm donating for?" and made Joyce very uncomfortable trying not to lie.
For an atheist I have a pretty strong faith in karma and that good things happen to good people, and so it passed that Uchenna and Joyce were able to do the right thing by their taxi driver and still win the million dollars. Rob and Amber came a deserving second; we might not like some of the tactics Rob resorted to at times, but you cannot deny that nobody else played the game as hard or as smart. We didn't even see Ron and Kelly trying to find the cigar shop because they were so far behind (yeah!). Hubby and I were pretty happy with the order the three finished in, and it seemed the rest of the original entrants agreed with us. Either that or it's exhausting to cheer that hard, but there was a marked drop off in the enthusiasm level between Uchenna and Joyce's victory, Rob and Amber's arrival and Ron and Kelly dragging their sorry butts onto the finish mat. Kelly didn't let me down and kept complaining about Ron not wanting to marry her right to the end. Honey, you've already provided more than enough evidence to prove why that is; quit while you're ahead.
OK maybe not, but it's absurd to have three teams left and pretend that one of them will be knocked out before the finish line. Lucky for Uchenna and Joyce it was a "non-elimination round". To get there the teams had to travel from London to Jamaica, all ending up on the same flight and with no advantage. Ron and Kelly used the time productively to have yet another fight about their 'relationship'. Kelly can't seem to understand that Ron is happy to be her boyfriend but just doesn't want to get married. I took the effort to rewind and copy her quote down verbatim, because I love a good double entendre: "I've been able to really show Ron what I'm made of. If he doesn't figure out the quality girl I am then he's missing out." Yeah, if he doesn't figure out that she's – hang on while I look up her exact words from week 7 – "a piece-of-trash redneck" he'll be missing out on a life of peace and tranquillity. At least he's had the grace not to ask to be sent back to Iraq to avoid her, tempting as it must have been at times. Oh that's right, he got discharged from the army, which proves his inability to commit.
Once in Jamaica the teams had to do the limbo to get a time when they could search a school for the next clue, then had to build a raft and use it to cross a river. Rob & Amber and Uchenna & Joyce were neck and neck at this point because as couples they were working with each other instead of standing around complaining like Ron and Kelly. Somehow she thinks she's still a nice girl if she calls him a "smart A" instead of what everybody over four years of age knows she meant. I hate hypocrisy like that.
The teams also learnt the classic Survivor lesson of just how much can go wrong during an 80km taxi ride: traffic jams, stopping to get petrol, being pulled over by random police patrols, drivers who speak English but need to be subtitled to be understood and – most devastating of all – flat tyres. It didn't help Uchenna and Joyce at all that the other teams could see their taxi's tyre deflating and were praying for it to explode. Not very nice, people.
It was enough to push Uchenna & Joyce into last place on at the pit stop, and be stripped of all their cash and possessions, but not quite enough to put them out of the race on the next leg. A remote resort in a poor country at 3am is not the best time to be begging. At least they were smart enough to aim for the airport first, where lots of wealthy travellers were just queued up to ignore them and refuse help. Is it just me, or do the white couples never have that much trouble begging? Had Uchenna & Joyce been less decent humans they'd have whipped off her scarf and claimed her baldness as proof of cancer.
By that stage the other two teams had collected a bag of 50 onions from one place in the middle of nowhere and chopped every one of them to smithereens at another place in the middle of nowhere. From there it was off to the Rose Hall Great House for the detour. The choices were to make a horse swim around a marker (unlike Survivor they denied me the pleasure of hearing them pronounce buoy as boo-ee) or golf. Mind you, the golf was just hitting a 16m wide green 140m off, but the tricky part was they all had to dress up first at the pro shop. Joyce and Uchenna managed to make up a lot of time because if you believe the editing he hit the green on his third shot. At least he hadn't dug a small canyon with his club head in front of the tee like Ron did.
The next leg was a flight from Jamaica to Puerto Rico. Rob and Amber were minutes short of making the 9.30 flight, but somehow managed to squeeze onto the 8.30 flight on another airline which was running late. Ron and Kelly had to wait for the next flight leaving three hours later, with Uchenna and Joyce another four hours behind that. Wow, this is going to be a boring final; the producers must be really disappointed at how easy it's been for Rob and Amber.
But wait! Jerry Bruckheimer's team managed to find a completely abandoned sugar cane mill that has regular daily opening hours! What were the chances of that! Isn't it funny how all these place use exactly the same sign writing company and the same font to dispaly their opening hours! And better still for Jerry, what were the odds that it wouldn't open until the next morning, by which time Joyce and Uchenna had caught up to the others and they were all even again? It's a miracle!
The real miracle was what happened next. Rob and Amber didn't read the instructions properly and fell well behind the other two teams! One person had to jump off a bridge about 30m down into the water. Who knows what happened, but they couldn't find their way to the start point, and both Uchenna and Ron were on their way back to shore by the time they did. With Rob already having performed six roadblocks it was up to Amber, and being the trooper she is she was in the water with barely a moment's hesitation. Mind you, Rob had to piggy back her to the car because she couldn't walk, but she wasn't complaining at all and Rob went up that little extra notch in my book as top shelf husband material. Can you imagine Jonathan and Victoria in a situation like that?
From Puerto Rico the teams had to travel to Miami. Rob and Amber managed to talk their way onto a flight that was just about to go, and Rob actually stopped to check with the flight staff that the doors were locked behind them and nobody could follow them onto the plane. Maybe someone at the gate thought that Joyce really does have cancer, because they phoned the pilot AND HE AGREED TO LET THEM ON! The look on Rob's face as the aerobridge slid back toward the plane was fantastic, but at least Amber managed a gracious congratulations for them.
Ron and Kelly missed the flight because they were too busy arguing with each other to follow directions to the airport. Kelly said 'left' when she meant 'right', but rather than getting over it and moving on they had to keep debating the point about whose fault it was while driving further and further in the wrong direction. Missing that flight is what put them out of contention, and there was much cheering here in Kingsville that our two favourite teams would be battling it out for the final.
The next clue box might have been back in the USA, but being Miami the local lingo is very much Spanish. The clue was to find a cigar shop called "The King of the Havanas" but the trick was that the shop is actually known by the transalation El Rey de los Habanos. Joyce and Uchenna's taxi driver asked a local for directions in Spanish, and they were sent straight there. Rob and Amber did the asking themselves in English, and sure enough nobody had ever heard of it.
In probably the most exciting finish for all the series I've been lucky enough to see, Uchenna and Joyce didn't have enough money for the taxi fare to the finish line in Fort Lauderdale. They tried begging from drivers of cars next to them at traffic lights along the way, but again no luck. I'm still not sure why the driver acted all surprised when they got told him at the end of the trip (and practically within view of the finish line) that they couldn’t pay him enough! They'd been telling him the whole way and begging in front of him. As easy as it would have been, they just couldn't bring themselves to run off without paying but were still $45 short. They managed to beg it in increments from a series of locals, one of whom asked "Can you please tell me what I'm donating for?" and made Joyce very uncomfortable trying not to lie.
For an atheist I have a pretty strong faith in karma and that good things happen to good people, and so it passed that Uchenna and Joyce were able to do the right thing by their taxi driver and still win the million dollars. Rob and Amber came a deserving second; we might not like some of the tactics Rob resorted to at times, but you cannot deny that nobody else played the game as hard or as smart. We didn't even see Ron and Kelly trying to find the cigar shop because they were so far behind (yeah!). Hubby and I were pretty happy with the order the three finished in, and it seemed the rest of the original entrants agreed with us. Either that or it's exhausting to cheer that hard, but there was a marked drop off in the enthusiasm level between Uchenna and Joyce's victory, Rob and Amber's arrival and Ron and Kelly dragging their sorry butts onto the finish mat. Kelly didn't let me down and kept complaining about Ron not wanting to marry her right to the end. Honey, you've already provided more than enough evidence to prove why that is; quit while you're ahead.
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