Survivor Panama - Exile Island: Pre-show form guide

Yes, series 12 of Survivor starts in the US on Thursday February 2nd, a mere nine sleeps away.

Here is the traditional pre-show form guide with its usual snap judgements about people I've never met, based on dodgy stereotypes about their jobs, ages, and favourite things. Remember, they provided the info: I'm just interpreting it.

http://www.cbs.com/primetime/survivor12/

Aras – 24, Yoga Instructor
Played one season in Lithuania, now claims to be a former professional basketballer. Probably not Santa Monica's only yoga instructor with an MBA.

Austin – 24, Author
His first book, Somewhere Beyond Here, sounds frighteningly Oedipal in its plot. His second and third efforts haven't been published.

Bobby – 32, Attorney
Grew up in South Central LA, made it to Stanford Law School, and then blew all his credibility by being a contestant on Blind Date.

Nick – 25, Financial Sales
Describes himself as over-analytical but applied for Survivor "to meet smart, beautiful women". Needs to spend less time in the frat house.

Bruce – 58, Karate Instructor
So many Mr Miyagi jokes, only fourteen episodes. Top-level black belt, but still managed to get bitten by a rattlesnake while playing golf.

Dan – 52, Retired Astronaut
Has five real and several honorary degrees, made three Shuttle flights, and can't think of a better name for his dog than "Windy". Über-nerd.

Shane – 35, Marketer
My early pick for this season's most obnoxious player. Lists his favourite sport to play as "all, flag football". No idea about anything useful.

Terry – 46, Pilot
High school sports star turned Navy aviator turned commercial pilot and solid family man. Favourite film is Top Gun. Utterly predictable.

Courtney – 31, Circus Performer
Hippy former elite gymnast who teaches fire dancing "as a tool of self-expression". Lives in LA and - naturally - is working on a screenplay.

Danielle – 24, Medical Sales Representative
Stephanie clone: has the same job, the same sports-crazy background and lists the same favourite scents (coconut and vanilla). Stalker.

Misty – 24, Electrical Engineer
Miss Texas Teen 1999, now an engineer studying for her masters and training for a marathon. Big self esteem issues with which to bore everyone.

Sally – 27, Social Worker
Big Survivor fan who finally made it on her fifth application. Has already completed a marathon, which will drive Misty nuts. Might be too nice.

Cirie – 35, Registered Nurse
Claims she can catch fish and do some carpentry, but probably just saw it on TV once. Won't cope with the jungle, flies, dirt, heat etc.

Melinda – 32, Singer
Misses out on the "younger women" tribe by a mere 367 days. Sang with Dolly Parton at Dollywood. Too sweet to survive long on Survivor.

Ruth Marie – 48, Director of Retail Leasing
Was South Carolina's "Watermelon Queen" and its first female drug cop. Completed a 7-day marathon, and will really drive Misty nuts.

Tina – 45, Logging Sports Promoter / Performer
Owner of the World Champion Lumberjills, "Chicks with Axes," a travelling group of female lumberjacks. I'll say no more.