One of the classic elements of the Survivor visual 'style' is the shots of the local wildlife going about its life in blissful oblivion. This week we had various scavenging creatures, including flies and a vulture, feasting on the rubbish left around camp and quite possibly the remains of Shane's dignity.
Aside from some footage of Terry complaining about his treatment by, and gloating at the merest hints of discord among, Casaya (neither of which was particularly attractive) it was almost straight into tree mail this week. Each Survivor had a large straw voodoo doll, which they had to dress up in their own images. Cirie stuffed the bra on her doll but had the padding up a little too high on the chest to be a true representation. Shane presumably wet the groin on his, and Bruce packed his to bursting point to represent the 12 days of constipation taking its toll on him. More – so very much more – on that later.
At the reward challenge, Survivors had to fill in a quiz about their fellow castaways. Jeff tallied the votes, then read out each question one by one and asked Survivors to show not who they nominated but who they believe most others would have nominated. Getting the correct answer provided the chance to put another person out of the game by cutting through ropes to set fire to their voodoo doll.
This type of challenge is fairly common at this point in the game, because it clearly highlights the alliances and grievances being otherwise hidden. As a clue, the correct answer to all of the following questions was "Courtney":
- Who never shuts up?
- Who is the biggest poseur?
- Who is the most annoying person out here?
Shane totally missed the meaning behind being voted the person "who mistakenly believes they are running this game", thinking instead that he was being named the person actually running this game. He also missed the fact that it is a game, and took immense umbrage at each person who cut one of his ropes.
Cirie was the surprise under-the-radar winner. She elected to send Terry to Exile Island (giving him even more to sook about on top of being the first one ousted) and took Aras and Danielle with her on the reward of a helicopter flight to a resort with food, beds, masseurs, showers and most importantly a washing machine. She picked those two as the people she'd be likely to have most fun with, which was undeniably accurate given that Shane and Courtney were still upset about the game result, Terry was fuming by himself on Exile Island, and Bruce was doubled over with the pain of his blocked-up bowels.
By the afternoon Bruce was curled up in the foetal position, moaning. The reward winners were also moaning, but more with the pleasure of their mud massages and full bellies. Danielle confirmed my observation of sexual tension between Courtney and Shane, claiming "she has a major crush on him", and they all agreed that Bruce would be suffering stuck in the middle of the fights the two of them would be having.
Bruce was indeed suffering. Courtney asked "If I sing you a song will it help?" His"NO!!!" was very clear but she did it anyway (and to think she wonders why she was voted most annoying). In the end the medical team was summonsed, as much to rescue Bruce from Courtney as anything else. Personally I'd have dived face-first into the fire to get medivaced out rather than confess to an international TV audience of millions that I allowed a life-threatening case of constipation to develop.
If I were Shane I would probably have used the time between the medical team being called and their arrival to put on some pants. Or I could have used the twenty or so minutes after they arrived, but before they asked me to help with the stretcher, to put on some pants. He's right that it's a bad idea to sleep in wet pants. He's wrong to think that anyone else wants to see his naked form, particularly when he looks so much like Mr Burns stepping out of the shower in that episode of The Simpsons where Marge takes up painting. Maybe he was hoping for a second opinion about his nappy rash.
Anyway Bruce got taken off to hospital, presumably for at least one enema, and Courtney and Shane were left alone to snipe at each other and make alternating pledges of loyalty and death threats. By the time the others all returned to the beach the two of them were yet again worked up about being told they're annoying and moody and no fun to take on a reward challenge, and merely reinforced that opinion.
Poor Cirie had to suck up to Shane and convince him that she's absolutely true to their threesome with Aras, which makes them very strange bedfellows indeed remembering that only a couple of weeks before Shane and Aras told Cirie she'd be next voted off, and Shane has already voted for Aras at least once.
Eventually Jeff arrived to tell them all that Bruce is in hospital and out of the game. While there was no Tribal Council this week, the question now is whether his course of intensive colonic irrigation will be complete in time for him to rejoin the jury. We'll need to wait and see whether he is allowed to miss a Tribal Council and still vote at the end, or what happens if he's gone for good and the vote is tied? Sadly the rest of the world already knows since the final went to air in the US a week ago, but the remaining five episodes will still be exciting for some of us.
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