Survivor Panama - Exile Island: week 10

This week's episode had it all: exciting challenges, political intrigues and a medical emergency. Before you continue reading, just remember that last week you were warned of something deeply unpleasant requiring extensive pixelation (although perhaps not as extensive as he'd like to think he needs), and that it involves the baring of Shane's nether regions. And for once that doesn't mean Shane Warne.

Terry made another bold move this week by asking the remaining Casaya men where they saw him in the final six. Their blunt response of "We don't!" seemed to provoke him into telling all his Top Gun stories in one go while he still had an audience. Courtney the peacenik hippy was less than impressed, asking "How is any normal American person supposed to be the Navy air fighter pilot dude?" She must have missed the step-by-step description of what training he did at which bases. Sally listened in rapt attention and laughed in the right spots, since Terry winning reward and giving her the idol was clearly her only chance at coming home from the next Tribal Council.

The reward challenge was one of my annual favourites with the videos from home. In a clever move they showed each Survivor a 10 second sample clip so we at home got to check out all of the families instead of just the winners. Terry and Sally get my vote for having the cutest dogs out of the many that featured. Courtney's family all have little finger motions to show their love for each other, which had to be explained. Terry's daughter was like Drew Barrymore in E.T., while Aras's dad was riding a bike around the tee-pee set up in their back yard, which also had to be explained.

Remember how Sally told Austin a few weeks back that her family shunned her because she's divorced? She must have had some explaining to do after that episode went to air, because their waving and smiling and calling out "We love you, Sal!" was pretty convincing if it was an act. Unless, of course, they're not her real family…

Shane sobbed uncontrollably from the moment the reward was announced. His son looks like a real brat and his dog is kind of ugly. Even the mere existence of Boston's mother had conspicuously never been referred to on camera, but perhaps Shane gave us the reason when explaining why his son means so much to him. "I was only 21 when I had him. We grew up together. He's my brother. He is my son." The only interpretation of that which makes literal sense is too Oedipal to even contemplate.

The challenge itself put one person on a cradle hanging from a bungy cord in the middle of a large frame. The other three members of their randomly-chosen team had to use ropes to pull the cradled person around to collect numbered flags in order and slot them in a row. It was really, really close until Aras forced his team to back track when he knocked one of the already pegged flags out of its hole, and then made the same mistake again. It was enough for Courtney's team of Sally, Terry and Bruce to win and all let go of their ropes at the same time, violently retracting the bungy cord up and almost catapulting her over the jungle.

OK, this is the medical emergency and the bit I warned you about. It's probably best described in the participant's own words.
Shane: "I have an issue with my penis."
Cirie: "Can you explain it to me or do I have to come look at it?"
Shane: "You're a nurse!"
Cirie: "I don't want to look at it!"
Danielle: "I wouldn’t either!"
Shane (pants around ankles): "Don't laugh!"
Cirie (to camera, laughing): "Shane has this... funky... thing goin' on with his... uh... testicles."
Shane: "Why is it like that? You see how it's all red?"
Cirie (doubled over laughing): "That's because it's moist all the time. It's like diaper rash."
Shane: "Is that because I've been wearing those undies for 23 days?"
Cirie: (crying with laughter)
Shane (slightly desperate now): "How do I make that go away?"
Cirie: "Can you dry it out?"

Fortunately for Shane, Courtney and co soon arrived back from the video lounge with their luxury items having been returned to them as an extra treat. I don't think we've seen the Survivors' luxury items for the last seven or eight series, so it came as something of a shock to know they'd even been encouraged to bring something out to Panama in their bags. Bruce had a sketch pad, Sally had a journal, Terry had a queen doona sized American flag, and Courtney had her fire dancing equipment. If Shane is smart – and careful – he may have found a way to "dry it out". Interestingly none of the others bothered to ask why he was wearing his t-shirt as a skirt.

Aras proved yet again what a total tool he is. First he asked the girls to send him to Exile Island so he could look for the immunity idol. When he actually was sent he claimed Terry arranged it because he feels threatened. Once on the island he couldn't understand the clues, so he blamed his failure on everyone else already having turned over all the rocks, and eventually gave up because "Terry's probably already found it". Back at camp he explained his empty hands with a complaint that the clues are really hard, and the non-sequitur that "either the clue was really easy and Terry found it straight away, or no one's got it."

The Immunity Challenge provided yet another twist. Survivors got the choice between participating and eating, and everyone from Casaya except Aras chose the cheeseburgers. He looked pretty angry lining up next to Sally and Terry for the memory puzzle while everyone else squeezed around the table to cram in as much as they could before Terry won yet again and they had to stop.

Back at camp in the frantic hours before Tribal Council, Terry and Sally tried to convince everyone that he'd given her the idol so that neither of them could be voted off and whomever they themselves voted for would be going home. Terry even showed Bruce the idol in its roof-cavity hiding place (not in his bag where Danielle went snooping for it). Bruce once again looked like he'd been swayed until Cirie pointed out that Terry would be making the biggest mistake in Survivor history if he gave up the idol because he'd then be forced to win every single immunity challenge to make it through.

Sure enough, the vote went against Sally. There was an incredibly tense moment as Jeff asked if she had the idol, and every head snapped around to see what she'd do. Noticeably, Terry just looked at the ground so we knew he hadn't shared after all.

As Jeff pointed out, it's now six members of Casaya against Terry, and it'll be fun to see if he manages to keep winning the immunity challenges. Just not as much fun as watching Cirie trying to avoid any further medical consultations with Shane.