Amazing Race: week 5

Unlike Survivor, which grabbed my heart from the very first episode and hasn't let go, I'm only a recent convert to Amazing Race. I just couldn’t get into it while Channel 7 were showing it so late at night. This was partly because I really don't function without enough sleep, and partly because I get so angry at the ads suggesting phone sex and on-line dating services are populated exclusively by incredibly good looking people. (Remind me to dig the ACCC phone number out of that Survivor Palau post so I can ring up and complain about the false advertising).

Anyway, long-time fans of the show tell me that in the past the good teams used to be able to build up enough of a head start and keep it to be almost days ahead of the others. Now the producers build in enough transport hold-ups to prevent that from happening, and this week was a classic example of the impact that can – or can't – have on a team's success.

Rob and Amber started out with a six and a half hour head start over the last team, but since they all had to wait for the same flight it was wiped out and everyone began the day on an even footing. It served to highlight how little things are what really make the big difference. Joyce and Uchenna (the token black couple) and Ray and Kelly (the POW and Beauty Queen) were unlucky to be checked in by someone who wouldn't let them take their back packs on as hand luggage, so they had to wait for the baggage carousels at the other end. Ray and Deanna (a.k.a. this year's Jonathan and Victoria) finished second last in the previous leg but won this week. Why? Because Ray pulled a trick out of Rob's book and somehow convinced the cabin crew on their flight to move them to first class, meaning they were well-rested and first off the plane in Johannesburg.

This week's detour was a choice between rappelling into a cave and searching through the labyrinth for the clue, or matching the artefact to the tribe at a shamelessly tourist-focussed African village. Maybe the teams didn't have enough information in the clue envelope to make a clear choice, or maybe they just rushed in and picked the first option, but from previous series we know that having to search for the clue is fraught with danger and has been the downfall of many teams.

In Gretchen's case this week it was quite literally her downfall. She tripped inside the cave and gashed her head open, needing a stich, a very theatrical bandage right around her skull and a new t-shirt because the old one was covered in blood. Of course, failing to read the clue properly has also been a frequent downfall, and they'd gone right through the cave and were out the other side before they re-read the instructions and realised they had to go back, which is actually when she hurt herself.

Lynn and Alex (the token gay couple) were the only ones to go for the village from the outset, finding time along the way to express their relief that Johannesburg is a "real city" and not full of "chickens and camels". Hmm, there's not a whole lot of camels in Southern Africa guys, but thanks for the stereotype anyway; you're just nicely reinforcing the stereotype of American tourists.

Rob and Amber went for the Fast Forward, which allows the first team to complete it to go straight to the pit stop, but Ray and Deanna's head start off the plane got them there first. From the editing it was really hard to work out how long Rob and Amber waited to see whether Deanna's nerve would fail her as she tried to walk on a very shaky suspension bridge across the mouth of a massive cooling tower thirty stories up. She had a bit of a freak-out half way across (conveniently just before an ad break) but finally made it across, and we were treated to a camera shot from the top of the tower of Rob and Amber cutting their losses and running back to their car.

Winning the fast forward meant Ray and Deanna were first to the pit stop and won this leg of the race. They also won two cars, one of which hopefully has automatic transmission for Deanna's sake. Earlier she's been unable to find third gear and had been treated to a lecture from Ray. There's so many different tones of voice he could have used to say the words, "You can do so much more than you give yourself credit for", but he picked the one that made it sound most like an insult. I really hope that the next season is free of a couple with that type of relationship, because it's too depressing for a light entertainment show.

In this week's Roadblock the teams had to buy five items on a shopping list at a sprawling city market, then take them to a local orphanage. Rob and Amber happened to run into South Africa's biggest Survivor fan, who virtually completed the challenge for them and came along to give directions to the orphanage (lots of footage of happy African kiddies being cute) and then to the pit stop. The funniest moment on the entire series so far was her lining up on the finish mat with Rob and Amber as though it were the most natural thing in the world, and Phil having to ask who the hell she was.

Gretchen at some point changed into a clean t-shirt, and I'll bet she's glad she did. This was a non-elimination round, so she and Meredith get to fight on another day. But wait, there's a twist. Taking all their money just wasn't making it hard enough for the undead teams, so now Phil is taking everything but the clothes they're standing up in and their passports, and they don't get them back at all during the trip. They're going to have to squeeze either some shopping or laundromat time into their busy schedules, or at some point a zealous airport security guard is going to declare them biological weapons and not let them on the plane.