Survivor Palau: week 10

Her name was Ja-nu
She was a showgirl
With brown Koror buff in her hair
Was she wearing underwear?

Sorry, but last night’s episode was all about camp drama so the Barry Manilow opening number seemed fitting. The real theme of the show, however, was Survivor’s own wannabe star slowly but surely losing her mind.

The persecution of Janu started early, with Jenny and Katie gossiping audibly about the crazy look on her face at Tribal Council the night before. Rousing herself from the hammock, Janu laid into Katie and gave us one of the best catfights of the season so far, even if some of the barbs didn’t make a whole lot of sense: does anyone know when "comedienne bee" became an insult? Perhaps it’s a Vegas thing.

Janu got her own back in the reward challenge. She ended up in a team with Tom, Caryn and Gregg with two G’s in a race against the others to build a scaffold out in the water (with the help of some boo-ees) and rescue a flag. Looking at first like she’d wimp out and not help – which is exactly what Katie did to her team – Janu instead led the charge up the scaffold and back to the beach, the others trailing in her wake of manic energy.

As part of the reward Janu got to watch the floorshow for once instead of participating in it. A visit to a traditional Palauan village included women in grass skirts and coconut-shell bras, and a feast that fortunately excluded both balut and Survivor Pringles. Not wanting to let the limelight go for too long, Janu excused herself and discretely puked in a bush while a local woman held her hair back in a touching integration of Western tradition. Having made room, Janu then tucked into the supplies that Gregg took back to camp for those who’d missed out. Was it part of a plot to make everyone want to get rid of her, or was her mind already too broken for that degree of scheming?

Somebody at Channel 9 must be getting these emails, because this week’s promo was spot-on and there really was a big twist to the immunity challenge, at least for anyone who hadn’t seen the ads. In a test of nerves the Survivors had to hang in the water from the roof of a cage while the tide came in and steadily reduced the amount of breathing room they had. Most of them lasted around an hour, knowing that the first to bail out would get the "big surprise" anti-reward of a night alone on a deserted isle, but Janu got cold after a couple of minutes and panicked at the merest suggestion from Jeff that she might be panicking. It was back to high school for everyone else, laughing at Janu until Jeff told them to stop being so mean. Haven’t they seen Carrie and learnt not to pick on the weird girl? If Palau is anything like Vanuatu there’s easy access to plenty of pig’s blood.

As soon as Tom had outlasted Ian and won back the immunity necklace, Janu was whisked away and left on a remote beach with just flint, a machete and some water. They were all the props she needed for the next stage of her descent into a madness of Shakespearian proportions, dancing around the fire under the stars and singing to herself, "It’s all about me." Don’t worry love, there’s 23 minutes of the episode left for you to hog.

Back at camp, Gregg with two G’s claimed that voting Janu off next would be an emotional reaction, whereas voting Stephanie off would be a strategic one. Since his girlfriend Jenny is the only person who seems to have a problem with Stephanie, I suspect it’s a sexual reaction for Gregg. His libido will get him in trouble if he doesn’t remember the prophetic final line of Copacabana: "Don’t fall in love…"

Janu learnt from last week’s mistake and was far more vocal at Tribal Council about wanting to be voted off. Everyone else said they were voting on the basis of threat, not worth, confirming both Stephanie's and Janu’s worst fears. But wait! Earlier that day Ian and Tom had tried to somehow convince Gregg to keep Stephanie, without exposing that she is a core part of their alliance and Gregg and Jenny are just add-ons. Ian seized on a chance remark of Jeff’s to remind Janu that she could lay down her torch and quit at any time. Janu digested this news with the dramatic eye rolling of a silent movie starlet, grabbed the option, grabbed her torch and walked out of the game, taking Josephine’s stake in the sweep with her.

Even Barry Manilow couldn’t top that.