Survivor Fiji: week 12

Here’s some advice, Boo:
When Dreamz sayz you’re talking crap
It’s time to shut up.

The worst part about tonight’s episode was that Mookie isn’t allowed to say anything from the jury box, so we don’t know if he’s worked out that Alex betrayed him. I still don’t know if Dreamz worked it out either; at one point he was standing there with a hand splayed out in front of himself and a very confused look on his face saying, "I’m trying to do the math quick." Since he was only using one hand and there were eight votes to be counted I think he was going to be there a while. Let’s just say the camera crew didn’t waste any film by hanging around until he figured it out.

Alex, meanwhile, was operating in ‘ninja mode’. This consisted of pretending to be asleep so that he could hear what people were saying. The obvious flaw in his plan was that it would only work if people talked within his range of hearing. Despite the odds they actually did. Entirely in keeping with the odds all he heard was Earl, Yau-Man and Cassandra in violent agreement that they would vote out Alex next and Boo after that.

The reward challenge can be summed up in the words "Try not to get food poisoning or catch a communicable disease." Various lumps of roast pork were hanging from ropes in the hot tropical sun. Survivors had their hands tied behind their backs and had to use just their teeth to rip off large chunks of the meat, then run back to a table and dump the meat on their plate. With everyone using their mouths on the same targets someone was bound to end up with at least one form of hepatitis. Several of them picked up meat they’d dropped in the dirt, and Stacey is going to have some nasty bruises from trying to crack the pork open like a pinata using her face as a weapon.

Frankly I didn’t think Boo would be able to resist the urge to just stand there and eat, but at the end of five minutes he had the heaviest plate with Yau-Man and Dreamz close behind. The three of them got to go white water rafting with a bloke who looked just like George Speight, while the losers had to try and use cold seawater to wash the grease and roast pig detritus out of their hair. No NEW! Olay Ribbons this week.

It was an hour and a half helicopter ride to the rafting location. Everyone had to wear headsets with microphones, so they all had to listen to Boo’s non-stop stream of verbal consciousness. See Dreamz, that’s an example of a soliloquy. It certainly wasn’t a conversation because everyone else was sitting there gritting their teeth and wishing he would just shut up so they could enjoy the ride. Same for the boat trip down the river. And probably on the flight home again. The horror, the horror.

The trip included a picnic lunch and letters from home. Yau-Man’s son apparently got six As and a B in algebra on his report card. He would have preferred his son to get 6a + b("Spanish or something") but he still seemed fairly proud. Dreamz got a letter from his sister that made him cry. Her grammar and punctuation probably would have made me cry too, but Dreamz said he was touched by something she said which was allegedly profound. The most profound news in Boo’s letter was that his Daddy’s horses are eating well.

Earl got sent to Exile Island, which he was very, very happy about since it gave him a second clue to the re-hidden immunity idol. He reckons he only needs two clues to find it, but we didn’t see him even looking for it let alone finding it. We did however get a single camera shot featuring two snakes at the same time, which is the first real evidence that there’s more than one out there. Jeff promised thousands of poisonous sea snakes. Why hasn’t anyone been bitten yet?

Boo’s extra reward for winning was a leg-up in the immunity challenge. Literally. Everyone except Boo had to wear themselves out digging through a patch of sand looking for three paddles, with the first two people to find all three going through to the final round. Boo already had his paddles - which actually turned out to be steps - in the nice purple drawstring bag he’d been given for winning reward. The only others to find any steps at all were the well-fed Dreamz and Yau-Man, and the utterly desperate Alex.

In the final they had to use the steps to climb up a power pole sticking out of the water with a flag pole sticking out of the top of that. Alex nearly won without even using the steps, but Boo’s combination of a full stomach, fresh arms and the comfort that his Daddy’s horses have been eating well was first to the top. He celebrated the win by holding the flag pole with one arm and waving his other fist around in the air while roaring. Luckily the camera helicopter didn’t get too close, because his resemblance to King Kong on top of the Empire State Building was already convincing enough.

By winning immunity, Boo put Alex’s head squarely on the chopping block. Yau-Man did a little piece to camera about how he feels very safe and can afford to keep the immunity idol for another week at least. You could hear the cheers from the editing suite as Alex the ninja chose Yau-Man as the person he would try to convince Stacey, Cassandra and Boo to vote out that night.

My vote for funniest scene of the episode goes to the bit where Earl spotted Alex a little away from the camp trying to win over Stacey. Earl told Boo to go and break up the conversation, and this is how it went:

Boo: Stacey, I think everybody wants to talk to you when you're finished over here.
Stacey: Who is 'everybody'?
Boo: Everybody besides you and Alex.

It was great TV because for a while there it looked like Alex might have pulled it off. Even better was Stacey totally sucking up to Cassandra and Dreamz, the two people who a couple of weeks ago were beneath her contempt. Cassandra has quietly become quite the little power broker over the last few weeks. She knows that Earl and Yau-Man are looking to take to each other to the final two along with some who isn’t a threat to them, and while they’ve already made a promise to her I don’t think it’s one they can afford to keep if they want to win.

Either way, she’s possibly lost Alex’s vote now. Her alliance dutifully voted for him, along with the Earl and Yau-Man. Boo also voted for Alex, although that might have just been a fluke since nobody seemed to bother briefing him. He’ll be voted off as soon as he fails to win immunity so his opinion doesn’t matter. Either that or everyone was afraid that engaging him in conversation would result in another soliloquy.