How stupid do marketers think we are? Product placement is a surging blight on our entertainment landscape, but seldom is it as unapologetically blatant as on Survivor. Every season at least a couple of the reward challenges are sponsored by big brands with deep pockets. Apparently we innocents out in TV land are supposed to believe that the Survivors get so incredibly excited about the reward because it’s Miller beer, or Doritos corn chips, but if it were Budweiser and CC’s they’d hardly bother. Couldn’t be that they’ve been living on coconut juice and live grasshoppers for weeks and just want some variety in their diets, could it?
In this week’s episode, Home Depot (or Dee-po as it’s correctly pronounced; marketers are sensitive about this kind of thing) was the logo that got the Survivors lathered up into a consumer frenzy. America’s version of Bunnings (which is Home Depot, just in case you missed it) turned up and gave them a range of building materials and a choice of tools with which to build a shower and a latrine. The best effort would be rewarded with yet another visit from the Home Depot barge, more product placement, and a top-notch shelter.
By the time the Home Depot (did you get that) barge arrived each tribe was supposed to have chosen a leader, and the rest of the episode really highlighted the differences between them. At Koror, Coby got his curling tongs in a twist because he wanted to be leader (as did several other people) but Ian bowed to public pressure and agreed to take up the sceptre. At Ulong, nobody wanted to be leader so James got dobbed in. At Koror they drew up some plans, considered everyone’s input and had plenty of group help. Meanwhile at Ulong James just took over, Kim complained that she was hungry, and Bobby Jon made an impassioned speech about winners and then tried to cut down a palm tree in the middle of a thicket where it had no room to fall clear. He was Alabama’s most eligible bachelor, not its smartest.
Needless to say, Koror won and jumped for joy when the Home Depot barge came back. They were even happier with the two bottles of champagne thrown in as a house-warming gift (obviously none of the champagne companies wanted to pay the exorbitant product placement rates, because the labels had been soaked off).
The immunity challenge was a cross between sumo wrestling and a pillow fight, cryptically described as a "David and Goliath" battle. James, dressed like an extra from a Charlton Heston epic in his self-fashioned tunic, stopped looking the part when he declared "We’re gonna be like wolverines!"
Kim surrendered faster than the French army and basically jumped over the side rather than do any work to help her team win. Angie and Stephanie both won both of their fights decisively. James lost twice to Coby including in the final do-or-die round which decided the eventual winner, and proved he’s as much a redneck as he is not a raconteur when he summed up losing to Coby using the following phrases:
- "It felt terribly to have my butt whupped by a ho-mo-sex-u-al."
- "A lot of gay folks is strong. They’all work out at the gym an’ all. Daymn. That boy right there has got some ass behind him."
In the end though it was "ding dong the witch is dead" with Kim voted off in a unanimous decision. She went down in character though, blaming everyone else for everything that’s ever gone wrong and not taking the slightest bit of personal responsibility.
That’s Sharon finally out of the sweep after several tentative weeks, and Ulong’s fourth tribal council in a row. Unless they start winning some challenges the jury will be made up of all nine Koror members. Of course, the ad for next week promises "several unexpected twists that throw them off their game" so stay tuned…
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